Reflecting on Challenges and Changes
ReFocusing2010 was perhaps the most difficult year to date for our young family. The Lord, in His sovereignty, chose to usher Jennifer and myself into a season of intense waiting and loss. As is often the case, while this past eighteen months or so has been amongst the most painful in our lives, it has also been perhaps the richest of our lives in terms of our intimacy with one another and with the Lord.
By way of backstory, Jennifer and I came on staff with CRM back in February 2009. We were brought on to lead/pilot a new Ethne initiative entitled Pathways. We spent 2009 and 2010 raising support, applying for visas, and preparing a team of 8 first-time missionaries for cross-cultural mission in Spain. All of that came to a crushing halt several months ago, as we dealt with the emotional blow of the sudden loss of Jennifer’s mom at age 53, coupled with the Spanish government’s denial of our visas.
Obviously, that chain of events left us reeling…desperately trying to deal with the inexplicable loss, both personally and professionally, while at the same time trying to chart a way forward. It was in those difficult weeks that the Lord led us into the ChurchNEXT family and clarified our calling to apostolically engage with the Church to propel her forward in achieving the Lord’s mission.
As we’ve had several months to reflect on our season of loss and waiting, it seemed appropriate to share the learning the Lord has led us into. Be mindful that these are lessons that we ARE LEARNING….not that we HAVE LEARNED. The work is still in progress. By God’s grace, we journey onward, we press forward in faith, we cling to the hope that we have in the Gospel.
1. The Lord never wastes our pain…our afflictions and hardships are all designed to build in us the character of Christ and to deepen our faith and trust in our Creator.
2. The Lord’s processes for molding us into Christ’s image oftentimes (I daresay usually) are a direct affront to our efficiency-tuned American minds. Exodus 13 shows us how the Lord chose to take the Israelites from Egypt to the Promised Land via “the long way” (v. 17)…in doing so, He gave them the opportunity to watch their oppressors drowned before their very eyes. He took them to an out-of-the-way mountain where He revealed His glory in world-changing ways. He revealed His love and care for them by providing bread from dew, water from rocks, and all the quail they would ever need. Likewise in our lives, the Lord is much less concerned with that which “makes sense” and is “efficient,” and much more concerned about teaching us what it means to truly follow Jesus.
3. Just because God takes me seriously, doesn’t mean that I have to take myself seriously.
4. Life takes on a drastically different flavor when we are able to see ourselves as stewards, rather than owners. How differently we approach our dreams/ministry when I acknowledge that they don’t belong to me. How differently we parent our kids when we realize that they don’t belong to us…that we are merely stewarding them for their Father.
5. If we have a vision, and it doesn’t scare us (at least a little bit), it is probably not from God.
6. My wife is undoubtedly the most beautiful, faith-filled, spiritually-powerful woman that I have ever known. Enough said.
7. One the greatest blessings in our lives are friends and family who love us and support us through the messiness of life. We’ve been in a state of pretty intense transition for the better part of two years, and every aspect of our lives reflect that transition EXCEPT for our relationships. We have great families and great friends all over the world who will stand with us in spite of the fact that there is really no aspect of life in which we “have it together.”
8. In the words of my friend, Michael Kelley, “Faith is not the absence of questions and doubt; faith is the ability to move forward despite questions and doubt.”
9. Our biggest growth often happens not in the arena of who we are, but in the arena of who we aren’t.
10. A heart of complete joy in the Lord is only brought about by a heart of complete trust in the Lord.
11. The Christian life is, by definition, a series of highs and lows. It is designed to be that way. By taking us through both the “ups” and the “downs,” God teaches us that He is faithful, He is present, and He is redemptive in both.
12. Everyday, God is reminding us to quit holding onto things too tightly—whether our expectations, our viewpoints, our dreams, or even our callings. We must hold these things loosely…as a steward. And cling tightly to Jesus.
13. Oftentimes, I think God asks us, “Will you love me even in the silence, or is our relationship predicated on your need to hear My voice?”
14. So many times, our “realistic goals” are those things that we believe we can accomplish in and of ourselves. Rather than settling for these, we should instead take a lesson from the widow of 2 Kings 4-She desperately searched for every jar available to contain the providence of God, in accordance with her faith.
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Matt and Jennifer are a part of ChurchNEXT’s reFocusing team. They live in Jackson, Miss, with their two sons. They are committed to empowering leaders and churches to live out their unique calling, and thus, to see Gospel transformation happen in families, communities, and the world.
